Dating a Much Younger Man: What You Need to Know

If you’re an older woman looking to date a much younger man, you might find yourself being called a “cougar.” But what exactly does that mean? According to Urban Dictionary,

A Cougar is

An “older,” experienced woman who happens to find herself in a sexual relationship (committed or not) with a younger man. She is not necessarily a slut, nor is she desperate. She offers sexual expertise and is open to new experiences. She simply wants to have fun. Though older, she may actually look younger than her “hook-up.” She is attractive, confident, and just wants to have fun. She will not attempt to trap her mate into marriage, children or even an exclusive relationship. She is not interested in drama or games, as that would interfere with the pleasure she enjoys.

Most people refer to a cougar as a woman over the age of 40 who exclusively dates men in their 20s and 30s. Prior to locking it down with Jester, I dated men under the age of 35 exclusively. He just actually aged out of my target window when he turned 36 this year but I think I’ll keep him. We actually have a 21-year age gap. 


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♬ som original – Silvana Lucca

Now that we’ve defined what a cougar is, let’s talk about what you need to know if you’re interested in dating a younger man. Here are a few tips to help you navigate the world of cougar dating:


Don’t be afraid to be bold

As a cougar, you’re probably comfortable with taking charge in the relationship. After all, you’ve got the life experience and confidence that comes with age. That confidence is what attracts younger men so don’t be afraid to speak your mind and let him know exactly what you like. 

One of the great things about dating a younger man is that he’s probably up for trying new things. So, if you’ve always wanted to go skydiving or try that new restaurant that just opened up, now is the time to do it. Don’t be afraid to take the lead and show your younger beau how it’s done.


Keep up with the latest trends

While you might be more comfortable with the classics, it’s important to keep up with the latest trends if you’re dating a younger man. Let’s face it, you don’t want to be that old woman who’s still stuck in a time warp. Make sure you stay up-to-date with the latest trends in music, fashion, and pop culture. He’s likely to be more in tune with pop culture, so make sure you’re up-to-date with the latest music, fashion, and TV shows. It’s a great way to connect with your partner and show him that you’re not out of touch.



Be prepared to answer some tough questions

As a cougar, you might face some judgment from friends and family who don’t understand your attraction to younger men. If you’re dating a much younger man, you’re bound to get some raised eyebrows and stares if the age difference is very visible. Be prepared to answer some tough questions, like “Isn’t he a bit young for you?” or “What do you have in common?” Just remember that age is just a number as long as their legal and you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. 


Be true to yourself

While it’s important to keep up with the latest trends, don’t try to be someone you’re not just to impress your younger man. He’s attracted to you because of who you are, not because you’re trying to be someone else. Embrace your age and experience, and don’t be afraid to show off what makes you unique.



Enjoy the ride

Dating a younger man can be an exciting adventure, so make sure you enjoy the ride. Don’t worry too much about the future or what other people might think. Just focus on living in the moment and enjoying each other’s company. In most cougar/cub relationships, we practice catch and release, so have fun until it’s not, and then move on to the next. 



Dating a younger man can be a fun and exciting experience for an older woman, but it’s important to keep these tips in mind. Remember to be bold, stay up-to-date with the latest trends, be prepared for some tough questions, be true to yourself, and most importantly, enjoy the ride!

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